tired

I am so tired.
SOOO tired
But on Strengths Finder, one of my strengths is discipline.
And I know it was so good for me last week to reflect through the blog.

So here I am. And maybe it's discipline or a related strength that drew me to this challenging job. I like being tough and for people to see me as tough. I fear being thought of as weak.

The sermon at our church this afternoon (at the english service) was very helpful and relevant, a poignant reminder that we're all just as broken as the next, so we should be compassionate to "sinners" because we're just as bad without Christ. And it feels so good tonight to acknowledge that I'm broken, weak, and selfish.

I am really tired of being in charge of this program in this context all the time - even being conscious of the sounds of opening and closing doors while I'm sleeping. I feel like it is too much for me. And I think that's just where God wants me.

To let go of what people think about me, whether this is a "successful" program or not.
To stop stressing myself out by trying to cover all of the bases (not even knowing what each base is) with our limited resources and time.
To give myself and others grace because God has and he doesn't expect me to be doing good works on my own.

So thanks for reading and for your prayers.

And one concrete way to take care of ourselves is that Mark and I are probably going to go stay at a friend's house for a while so that I don't have to hear the doors or worry that the water filter is empty.