I want to thrive, not just survive! (Switchfoot)

Someone must have been praying for us recently. Friday and Saturday (yesterday), I felt like I was on the verge of a breakdown. We're three weeks into orientation, but I have too much of my self-worth tied into making it perfect, where everyone loves it, in a context that is very difficult. When the Seeders were asking about doing site-seeing like their Colombian counterparts, I felt like a failure to be disappointing them, even though it's more that Congo is expensive and doesn't have a lot of site-seeing that is easy. Sure, there's volcanoes and gorillas (both expensive), but they are also in national parks where armed groups dwell, and we haven't had our security briefing yet.

This is Mark and I on Friday night when we found that our househelper had made chips, salsa and guacamole! It felt like a direct gift from GOD!

At least it's incredibly beautiful here. Sitting looking at the lake is really good therapy.

We have had some really great speakers.

 So I've been in tears a couple times in the last few days, stressing about not understanding how finances are working for the Seed program, stressing about not having placements figured out yet (still waiting to meet with one org that just went through a leadership change and waiting to hear back whether another one got funding or not), stressing about Seeders who don't like to eat leftovers - and I realize how strongly I hold that value! We've also had a lot of MCC visitors in and out, which is nice in one way, but also means MORE MEETINGS when Serge and I already don't have time to meet for planning. Friday at 2pm, we told the Seeders we were done for the weekend because we hadn't been able to plan - even though I was afraid they are bored.

IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL!!! The weather is amazing.

 But today, I am feeling excited and at peace. I still don't know how we are going to distribute money or who is going to be placed where, but it somehow feels more manageable. I feel excited about learning French and about continuing my master's in Conflict Transformation. I feel so blessed to be married to Mark (although that has been consistent throughout my stress because he has been such an incredible support!). I feel hope for our MCC Congo team and that our communication is going to improve. There's no explanation for this shift in my outlook except for faith. So thanks for praying and please keep it up!

"Been fighting things that I can't see
Like voices coming from the inside of me...
Feel like I travel but I never arrive
I wanna thrive not just survive"

--From Switchfoot's song "Thrive"

Also, We have been asking from early on for prayers for my relationship with Serge, and I just want to say thank you because we have a really good relationship, and it is such a blessing!